One Day
Today I learned that I truly have super powers. Admittedly, they’re not any type of super powers that anyone would actually want, but super powers none-the-less. I have the ability to completely immobilize old Japanese women.
Today, I was standing outside my school smoking when a car drove by. As soon as it passed me, the two incredibly old women in the car slowed to a crawl and just turned around in their seats to stare at me. I was rubbernecked like a train accident…
Anyway, they were so busy staring at me that the one completely forgot that she was driving. I tried to force her to turn around my waving my arms frantically and shouting “Look, look!” in Japanese. Really, I think that was counter productive, as they only continued to stare at me, and quite possibly the site of this already strange, large man now waving like crazy may have increased my hypnotic attraction. Since they weren’t watching where they were going, they drove straight into a parked car… thankfully they were driving slow enough that no one was hurt, but still, if ever the world is attacked by an army of old Japanese women, I can take care of it.
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I was walking around the classroom and just happened to notice one student’s folder. Now, I’ve told you about the pencil cases, and as I’m sure you guessed the folders are just as bad, but this particular one took the proverbial cake.
It was styled to look like an English newspaper, specifically the classified section. Now, most of the ads were for lowering your credit debt, or find a high paying job with little work. There was even one suggesting that it could help you find that special someone. But right in the center of the folder, in giant print (as opposed to the small newsprint of the rest of the folder) were the words “BREAST ENLARGEMENT.”
I’m not much of a breast man, but I must admit that most Japanese women would probably benefit from such an advertisement. However, I’d say that a 13 year old girl does not yet need to be worried about purchasing “all nature supplements” to “help increase breast size the quick and safe way.” Then again, she can't read the advertisement anyway, so it doesn't make a whole lot of difference. However, the kid with the bag that proudly proclaimed in large letters "I LOVE BEER!" probably can read that one.
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Today I had a special education class at one of my schools. Special ed here in Japan is… well… not well thought out. For one thing, I’m not entirely sure what the criteria for being placed into a special ed class is. As far as I can tell it’s almost entirely random. I’m also marginally convinced that if a student is just… well… different (as in doesn’t act like a typical Japanese robot at least 50% of the time) then they must have some sort of disability. That’s not to say that some of these kids don’t need the extra help, but others just seem randomly placed.
The teachers are also not the best. It seems as if they attempt to find the teachers worst suited to teach such a class and promptly give them the job. Take for instance my class today with Ass-sensei (I call him that for more reasons than I feel like getting into. Long story short, he’s an ass). Now here’s a guy that shouldn’t even be allowed to interact with other human beings, let alone teach a class.
I went into his classroom and found only one kid seated at her desk. That’s fairly normal, as Japanese special ed classes are typically quite small. About halfway into the lesson (a lesson in which I received no help from Ass-sensei) I started hearing strange noises from the back of the classroom.
At first I was willing to ignore them like the teacher, but after about 10 minutes or so, the bizarreness led me to investigate. I mean, these were not natural noises. So, at the back of the classroom, I found what could only be described as a fort made of desks and tables, cleverly disguised. Looking into the fort, I found four more students. They promptly requested my removal from the area of the fort by kicking me in the shins.
I have since learned that those students spend all day in their fort. They get to school and go into the fort, and do not leave the fort except to get provisions and to leave school. I also found out that Ass-sensei is in his first year, and that last year, none of these students behaved quite like they do now.
I guess I should have figured that Japanese hiring practices weren’t quite right when they took me on, but still, this seems a bit too much in the “No idea what we’re doing” category.
Today, I was standing outside my school smoking when a car drove by. As soon as it passed me, the two incredibly old women in the car slowed to a crawl and just turned around in their seats to stare at me. I was rubbernecked like a train accident…
Anyway, they were so busy staring at me that the one completely forgot that she was driving. I tried to force her to turn around my waving my arms frantically and shouting “Look, look!” in Japanese. Really, I think that was counter productive, as they only continued to stare at me, and quite possibly the site of this already strange, large man now waving like crazy may have increased my hypnotic attraction. Since they weren’t watching where they were going, they drove straight into a parked car… thankfully they were driving slow enough that no one was hurt, but still, if ever the world is attacked by an army of old Japanese women, I can take care of it.
---------------------------------
I was walking around the classroom and just happened to notice one student’s folder. Now, I’ve told you about the pencil cases, and as I’m sure you guessed the folders are just as bad, but this particular one took the proverbial cake.
It was styled to look like an English newspaper, specifically the classified section. Now, most of the ads were for lowering your credit debt, or find a high paying job with little work. There was even one suggesting that it could help you find that special someone. But right in the center of the folder, in giant print (as opposed to the small newsprint of the rest of the folder) were the words “BREAST ENLARGEMENT.”
I’m not much of a breast man, but I must admit that most Japanese women would probably benefit from such an advertisement. However, I’d say that a 13 year old girl does not yet need to be worried about purchasing “all nature supplements” to “help increase breast size the quick and safe way.” Then again, she can't read the advertisement anyway, so it doesn't make a whole lot of difference. However, the kid with the bag that proudly proclaimed in large letters "I LOVE BEER!" probably can read that one.
---------------------------------
Today I had a special education class at one of my schools. Special ed here in Japan is… well… not well thought out. For one thing, I’m not entirely sure what the criteria for being placed into a special ed class is. As far as I can tell it’s almost entirely random. I’m also marginally convinced that if a student is just… well… different (as in doesn’t act like a typical Japanese robot at least 50% of the time) then they must have some sort of disability. That’s not to say that some of these kids don’t need the extra help, but others just seem randomly placed.
The teachers are also not the best. It seems as if they attempt to find the teachers worst suited to teach such a class and promptly give them the job. Take for instance my class today with Ass-sensei (I call him that for more reasons than I feel like getting into. Long story short, he’s an ass). Now here’s a guy that shouldn’t even be allowed to interact with other human beings, let alone teach a class.
I went into his classroom and found only one kid seated at her desk. That’s fairly normal, as Japanese special ed classes are typically quite small. About halfway into the lesson (a lesson in which I received no help from Ass-sensei) I started hearing strange noises from the back of the classroom.
At first I was willing to ignore them like the teacher, but after about 10 minutes or so, the bizarreness led me to investigate. I mean, these were not natural noises. So, at the back of the classroom, I found what could only be described as a fort made of desks and tables, cleverly disguised. Looking into the fort, I found four more students. They promptly requested my removal from the area of the fort by kicking me in the shins.
I have since learned that those students spend all day in their fort. They get to school and go into the fort, and do not leave the fort except to get provisions and to leave school. I also found out that Ass-sensei is in his first year, and that last year, none of these students behaved quite like they do now.
I guess I should have figured that Japanese hiring practices weren’t quite right when they took me on, but still, this seems a bit too much in the “No idea what we’re doing” category.
posted by S A B at 6:03 PM
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