The Realm of Not Understanding

Today was an eventful day in which absolutely nothing happened. The day started when I woke up from a particularly unpleasant dream. I won’t detail what the dream was about, but it certainly felt like an omen of things to come. I went to Nishi for the final time this year, and when I entered the teacher’s room, the entire place was empty. I mean, no one was there. Confused, I sat down at my desk and began studying some Japanese. Let me tell you, Japanese teachers’ rooms are freaky places when no one is there. It’s something that can’t be explained, and can only be experienced… but trust me when I say you don’t want to.

Eventually, Okazaki-sensei came running into the room. She’s an English teacher, and at the tender age of 28, she’s the youngest teacher I’ve had the pleasure of working with. She’s also the only Japanese person I’ve yet to see here with an ass, but that’s a different story. Regardless, she’s definitely my favorite person to work with to date, and it saddens me that I won’t be back at Nishi this year to work with her again. I also found out that she’ll probably be transferring to another school in April, so in all likelihood, I’d never see her again, which is sad. Really fun person.

Anyway, I stopped Okazaki to find out what she was doing. At that moment, she had to hurry and get tea for the guests of the school. Apparently, being the youngest female teacher (there is a male teacher who’s younger, but his penis excludes him from this) she needs to act as hostess. The school had guests, and in Japan, guests must be served tea. Someone has to serve the tea, so the rationale is that the youngest female staff member has to do it. Ah, sexism in Japan.

After she got the tea, I asked her where everyone was. Apparently, the ninensei were on a school trip somewhere. At least that’s what I think they’re on. She just said they are “having an experience outside school.” That can mean way too many things. Anyway, that’s where the ninensei and their teachers were, the sannensei were going to have presentations by college students (the aforementioned guests), and the ichinensei… well… I have no idea where they were.

Without anything better to do, I decided to go to the first of the college presentations in the gym. While there, I had two stunning revelations. One was the behavior of the students. Normally kids at Nishi won’t sit still for more than a minute without doing something, typically beating each other over the head (a very common pastime among Japanese JHS students). Additionally, I’ve never seen a Nishi student fully in their uniform. You typically get the idea of Japanese schools with students who are all dressed in uniform, shirts tucked in, wearing the proper attire, etc. This is true at some schools, but not at Nishi. There’s almost always some sort of nonregulation clothing addition, whether it is simply not wearing the jacket or just wearing the uniform pants and a t-shirt that says Playboy. Today, in the gym, all the students sat still, listened, took notes, and were in correct uniforms…

I can only rationalize that this is because here in Japan, way too much pressure is put on students to succeed at an early age. You begin preparing for university in exams in elementary school, and I personally think that may be one factor in the fucked-up-ness of this country.

The second realization came in regards to myself. The presentation lasted for an hour and a half. University students talked about college, and junior high students asked about getting in to college. I think I understood a total of two words spoken, and yet I sat there for the whole time. Think of this. You’re in a gymnasium, of your own will, listening intently to words you cannot comprehend. How the hell did I get myself into this situation? I’m just not completely sure exactly why I thought moving to Japan when I don’t understand Japanese was a good idea. Granted, I still think it’s a good idea, but then again I’ve never been a very balanced individual.

After the presentation, I sat at my desk some more, and quickly became bored. With no students or teachers around, I couldn’t rationalize staying at the school. So, I decided to head to my Board of Education (where I go when I have no classes) and bid Nishi goodbye. I sought out the vice principal to tell him I was leaving, and found him wandering the hallways. I was immediately floored by the fact that he was walking around in a Slippery Rock University T-Shirt. Those of you who know Slippery Rock already have an idea of how screwed up that is. Those of you who don’t, well, you therefore get the idea of why it’s bizarre to find a Japanese vice-principal walking around in a T-Shirt endorsing Slippery Rock. I asked him about the shirt, thinking maybe he went to university as a transfer student in America and happened to, for some god only knows what reason, attend Slippery Rock. This was not the case, however. He bought the shirt at the Japanese equivalent of a thrift store. What the hell was a Slippery Rock T-Shirt doing at a Japanese thrift store? I will never know and I think I’m happy to keep it that way.