It's a Plural Form!

So, allow me to describe my first two days at school. They’ve been, well, interesting, and a bizarre combination of absolutely uneventful and jam-packed excitement. This is my story.

So, yesterday was my first day. I traveled to Higashi Joyo Junior High, and I knew which way I was going (see previous post). I wanted to make a good first impression, so I wore my dress clothes there, though thankfully I was smart enough to have my suit jacket in the basket of my bicycle. I figured “It’s early morning, it can’t be too hot, I won’t get all that sweaty.” Dear god was I wrong. The act of biking up that godforsaken hill put me into a state of sweat filled exhaustion I hesitate to describe. Upon getting to the school, I hit up the bathroom and took off my undershirt. I than rang it out. I mean, there was enough sweat in this shirt that one would I think I had just soaked it in a bucket of water. Hell, I could have filled up a bucket of water. Regardless, I then spent the rest of the day in relative discomfort. Thankfully, though, I spent most of my day in the teacher’s room, which is the only room in the school that has air-conditioning.

I tried a few basic conversations with the vice principal, which mostly ended in failure since he spoke no English and did not understand my caveman Japanese skills. There are worse things, I suppose. I’ve found my time here is littered with misunderstandings and confusion, and unfortunately, the three English teachers did not help. I don’t know if they were just busy or were afraid of me, but they would barely talk to me. I think it could simply be that they’re unsure of their English.

Which brings me to an important point about Japanese schools. I now understand the importance of the AET. I remember my Spanish teacher in high school couldn’t accurately teach his way out of a paper bag, but by god he was fluent in Spanish. These teachers are lucky they can speak any English, and they’re teaching it? What the hell?

Anyway, I sat around until about 9:30, when there was a welcoming ceremony (the students just got back from summer break). I did not know that at 9:30 there was a welcoming ceremony. Everyone just got up and left the teacher’s room, and I was just sitting there wondering what the hell is going on. Eventually, I used my Gaijin Telepathy to chase down the teachers, and thus follow them into the gym. I was presented with a frightening sight.

All the students were lined up into neat little rows. Then, the teacher acting as the MC said something, and they all snapped to attention. Another word was spoken, and they all bowed in unison. One final word was said, and they all moved into an “at ease” like stance. It was so incredibly creepy. Thankfully, they were eventually allowed to sit down on the floor, and they relaxed a bit, but still, the military-esque feel of the situation was just disturbing.

At this ceremony, many things were said, none of which I understood. Eventually, I was called up onto the stage, and then sat in a chair as the principal talked about me. I don’t know what he said, and that frightens me a little bit. Then, I was asked to give a speech in both English and Japanese. Thankfully, I was prepared for this, and gave my little 2 minute speech, alternating between English and Japanese. Here is where I won over the students. I had a few amusing comments (such as “I like sports but am too fat to play anymore” and “I know I look big and scary, but I’m really a nice guy, so come talk to me”) which caused great amounts of laughter to erupt from the students. It was the only emotion I had seen them show the entire ceremony.

After the ceremony, I realized I made quite an impression. A large gaggle of junior high girls immediately ran up to me, and I suppose that since the first thing I said in English was “Hello Everyone,” this group just began repeating the statement to me. It was a little odd, and I wasn’t sure how to explain at that moment that “everyone” is plural. Regardless, that was the start of the students’ fascination with me.

I noticed that during the ceremony, students kept staring at me. I was prepared for that. Right now, though, classes haven’t started, so all the kids just kinda roam the halls and clean and do club related activities (clubs are huge here, and you have to be in one, and then dedicate your soul to the club). With little else to do, I too roam the halls, and the students just flock to me. The process of our interactions is always the same: they run up and all say hello. They repeat hello about 6 times. I smile and they laugh. Then, they just stare, I mean, just stand there and stare. If it’s girls, after the staring for a while, they turn to each other and speak quickly in Japanese, then giggle like crazy. I’m glad I don’t know what they’re saying. The buys just stare for a while, I’ll try to say something, then they just wander off laughing. I don’t have to use my wit and charm to make these kids laugh, I just have to exist!

I’ve found, much to my sadness, that I’m expected to help out with the cleaning. My helping out usually just involves me walking around and telling the kids to clean, which causes them to stare blankly at me and then laugh, or I’ll push around a little broom. I stress little. The handle comes up to about my midsection, and it’s almost impossible to do anything even resembling actual cleaning. The kids get a kick out of the fat man with the little broom though, so I guess that’s good.

The majority of the day, though, I just sit in the teacher’s lounge, working on my Japanese, lesson plans, or staring off to space. I occasionally try to get people to talk to me, but it always ends in failure, even the English teachers. It seems to me that as far as the teachers are concerned, I’m just some oddity that exists in their room that occasionally does funny things and the rest of the time is to be ignored. It makes me sad, but that’s what I get for being a JET that only spends two weeks in a school. There has to be a better way to do this….

Today was more of the same, though without the ceremony and more of the sitting and staring. It gives me time to work on my Japanese, and I feel confident I learned something like 25 new Kanji in two days, which is pretty good, but I want to be doing something. I’m employed by the BOE, and for the first time in a long time, I want to give them their money’s worth. I want to work with the kids, and it just doesn’t seem like that will happen in any effective manner anytime soon… oh well, I guess there are worse things. I could be at elementary schools all the time.