MOVE!!!!!!!!!

As I'm sure I've mentioned, my current school, Higashi, is on top of a hill. This makes getting to the school in the morning almost unbearably painful. I don't do physical activity very well, let alone biking for an extended period of time up a hill. Returning, however, is quite easy. I just get myself going and allow gravity to do the rest. It's quite fun.

The problem here, though, is twofold. One is that I'm still not all that good on a bicycle, and so I have little to no control while travelling at high speeds down a hill. Breaking, turning, or anything else are impossibilities. Two, the Japanese are cutthroat in their travelling. The general idea is that "you get out of my way, because I'm going to keep trucking forward with my head down pretending you don't exist." This applies whether you are walking, riding a bicycle, on a scooter, or driving a car. You move forward with reckless abandon and hope that everyone else gets out of your way. I don't know how there aren't more accidents.

I have found a solution, however, that allows me to travel quickly and somewhat safely. While going down Higashi hill, I stand up on my bike, allowing the greatest forward momentum, and shout at the top of my lungs "Gaijin Tamaranai!" I have been informed that this basically means "Foreigner can't stop!" While I'm not sure if that is true, or if I'm pronouncing it right, or even if anyone can make out the words, it does fulfill its purpose. When I yell that out, any nearby pedestrians will immediately look up. They are then presented with the sight of a large, hairy, sweaty foreigner travelling at breakneck speed, appearing to have no control. In the event that said pedestrian is in front of me, he/she will have an immediate look of uncontrollable terror cross their face. It only takes a moment for them to realize what it hurtling towards them, and so they leap out of the way.

I've also realized that English can be used quite effectively as a weapon here, at least when wielded by me. It's not something that I want to do, or try to do, but it just sometimes happens by accident. For example, I was riding the train with Ray recently, and I was relating a story to him. Key to the story is when I said to some guy in passing, rather sternly, "I will CUT you." At the time of the story's telling, an elderly Japanese man was standing nearby. On the word "cut," he immediately looked up with a mix of fear and surprise, and promptly moved to the back of the train.

Now, it's possible that he may have known the English words and so was fearful I was refering to him, but based on other experiences here, I doubt that to be true. If ever I speak English just a little too loudly, on purpose or by accident, no matter what I say most nearby Japanese will vacate the area. Even in the event I'm in an area where loud voices are common, or just use a little extra bit of emphasis, English coming from me seems to have the same effect as if I pulled out a knife. Thus, I try to be careful with how I speak, but sometimes, it's just not my fault, and in the end I spread fear of the Walrus all around me. Oh well, at least I know if I'm ever short of money I can always rob a bank with nothing more than my vocal chords.