Oh, so THAT'S why you're feeling me up...

Yesterday, I taught my first classes. The results were very much a mixed bag. The first two classes were ichinensei (7^th graders). The first one went horribly. I gave my powerpoint presentation, and they didn’t give a damn about any pictures or anything else I said or did. They got into the Google Earth a bit, but that’s about it. After the powerpoint, I gave out a small quiz, which also didn’t work, and finished it with a game, which they could care less about… the bastards.

The second ichinensei class worked significantly better. They dug the powerpoint and my humor. I cut out the quiz, and spent more time on the game, which they also liked. I was giving out Heinz Pickle Pins as little prizes (if you don’t know what they are, then shame on you) and the kids in this class were all about them. After class, the majority of the boys came up to me and began feeling up my legs. I was not only weirded out by this because a bunch of 12 year olds were feeling me up, but I was also afraid, after reading www.Gaijinsmash.net, that they would shortly be going for my dick. Thankfully, all the wanted were more pickle pins, and when I produced more out of my pocket, I was immediately mobbed by about 15 students, all desperately trying to get them… I really didn’t know how to handle it. At least it was just the boys feeling me up. The girls stood back and just kept saying “Prease.

The final class was sannensei (9^th grade) and half the class was into what I was doing, while the other half couldn’t care less. Strangely enough, it was the girls who kept answering questions and were interested in the presentation, while the boys just sat there mutely and resisted any attempt by me to engage them in the class.

What I found most unusual was the behavior of the students. I lost most of my Japanese cultural worship long ago from working on my thesis, but I still pictured Japanese classes to be very orderly. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Kids would just keep talking in the class, ignoring what I’m saying, sleeping, or just being general nuisances. I just didn’t see this happening.

Yesterday I also realized how restrictive my lack of language ability is in the field of discipline. At the end of the day, before I decided to try and join in with some club activities, I went outside to smoke. While walking out, I happened upon four sannensei students, one of which lit up a cigarette right after getting out of the gate of the school. Smoking is prohibited until you are 20. I know that I’m a hardcore smoker, but I am also hardcore against young kids smoking, and I advise anyone to never start. So, I decided to try my hand at disciplining this kid. I failed, miserably. About all I was able to do is take the one cigarette off of him, but I couldn’t do anything more. When I related the story to Kubo-sensei, he was shocked by the student’s behavior and asked me to identify the student. Since most of these kids still look the same to me, I couldn’t.

I have found that I am a bit of a celebrity at the school. If I’m wandering the hallways and a student just happens to look over and see me, they let out this giant gasp as if they’ve seen Bigfoot. It’s like “Oh my god, there he is! Is he going to talk to me? Is he going to eat me? I don’t know! I will just stand here transfixed my the presence of this strange creature.” Then, I’ll smile and say hello, which every time I realize is a giant mistake. About the only things these kids can say for certain is “hello” and they repeat it, constantly. I can expect any one student to say “hello” at least 10 times to me throughout the course of the day. Now I just need to work on goodbye.