Just What the Hell...
The attack on my personal belongings continues. I was returning to the teacher’s room after a class with one of my teachers today, and when I left the classroom my handkerchief was in my back pocket. When I arrived at the teacher’s room, it was not. I did not feel or notice a thing, so ninja-like are these students. Since I walked down the ichinensei hallway, I knew exactly where to look and who to find.
Now, since the last assault, I’ve taken to folding up my handkerchief as small as possible and stuffing it into my back pocket, figuring no student cold get their hands in there without me feeling it. I was wrong. These kids are damn crafty, and damn desperate to steal my shit.
I rounded the corner to the ichinensei hallway, and saw the thief from yesterday. Upon noticing me, the boy let out this little yelp and ran into the classroom… sigh… I’d dub the kid “Ninja Master” for his stealthy approach towards thievery, but his panic under pressure of being caught was just too obvious, and so instead, his name is just Ninja Wannabe.
I started walking towards him when I suddenly felt a small tug on my backpack. I turned to see several ichinensei boys hauling ass down the hallway. I looked in my bag and found my monkey gone. Not only did these kids steal my monkey, but to do so they had to open my bag, find the monkey, take it out, and then run. Throughout the process I was nearly oblivious. I now must respect the skills of my enemy.
I decided that stealing the monkey was somewhat understandable, and so I would get that second. First, I had to curtail further attempts of digging through my back pocket. I caught up with Ninja Wannabe and put him in a headlock, figuring I could hold him until he coughed up my belongings. I did not expect how defenseless this would leave me to the other students. No sooner did I grab the one kid then three others have their hands in my pockets. Ok… this is just a bit violating. The most unbelievable part, though, is that while I had the one in a headlock, he was still determined to rob me of everything I own, and had one of his hands in my fourth pocket.
You know you’ve gone wrong somewhere in life when you have 12 and 13 year old boys with their hands in your pockets. This country is fucked up.
Through quick movements and using Ninja Wannabe as a shield, I beat away the three boys and managed to somehow get my handkerchief back. Stepping out into the hallway, three girls from a different class presented me with my monkey. I guess they took pity on the poor English teacher and got my monkey off the other boys. At least there’s some decency somewhere.
Walking back to the teacher’s room, I randomly turned around to see Ninja Wannabe, crouched low against the wall, approaching me. His cover blown, he ran like the wind. I have a feeling this is going to be a long struggle. What’s worse is that after turning around, CPG appeared out of NO WHERE and goosed me. What the hell is up with these students?
Beyond the continued molestations, I’ve discovered the greatest thing ever to exist anywhere. I found the teacher’s smoking room at Higashi. Now, smoking is expressly forbidden in Japanese schools, but that law as only passed two years ago, so some teachers are unwilling to give up their habit in school. So, the teachers at Higashi rebelled, and use one room as their smoking room. I stumbled upon it, and it truly looks like heaven.
It’s a small room, with a long, low table in the middle. Surrounding the table are six ultra comfortable lounge chairs. Scattered across the table were about eight cigarette packs, two dozen lighters, and three ash trashes. Like I said, heaven. I took a seat, lit up, and basked in the crowning jewel of what just became the greatest country on earth. Eventually one of the teachers came into the room and saw me sitting back, with a huge grin on my face. He promptly began laughing, sat down, and laughed some more. When I told him this is now the happiest day of my life, he starting laughing so hard that he couldn’t even light his cigarette. The vice principal, a really funny guy that, while he speaks almost no English, at least makes the effort, also came in. He then explained the rules of the room in Japanese, and realizing I didn’t understand, instead just said “Top top top top secret.” From what I could gather, no one outside of the school is aware this place exists. Should anyone else find out, their luxury might be shut down, and so there was some fear of me also discovering it. I think I removed their fears though with the assurances of me being silent.
Truly heaven.
Now, since the last assault, I’ve taken to folding up my handkerchief as small as possible and stuffing it into my back pocket, figuring no student cold get their hands in there without me feeling it. I was wrong. These kids are damn crafty, and damn desperate to steal my shit.
I rounded the corner to the ichinensei hallway, and saw the thief from yesterday. Upon noticing me, the boy let out this little yelp and ran into the classroom… sigh… I’d dub the kid “Ninja Master” for his stealthy approach towards thievery, but his panic under pressure of being caught was just too obvious, and so instead, his name is just Ninja Wannabe.
I started walking towards him when I suddenly felt a small tug on my backpack. I turned to see several ichinensei boys hauling ass down the hallway. I looked in my bag and found my monkey gone. Not only did these kids steal my monkey, but to do so they had to open my bag, find the monkey, take it out, and then run. Throughout the process I was nearly oblivious. I now must respect the skills of my enemy.
I decided that stealing the monkey was somewhat understandable, and so I would get that second. First, I had to curtail further attempts of digging through my back pocket. I caught up with Ninja Wannabe and put him in a headlock, figuring I could hold him until he coughed up my belongings. I did not expect how defenseless this would leave me to the other students. No sooner did I grab the one kid then three others have their hands in my pockets. Ok… this is just a bit violating. The most unbelievable part, though, is that while I had the one in a headlock, he was still determined to rob me of everything I own, and had one of his hands in my fourth pocket.
You know you’ve gone wrong somewhere in life when you have 12 and 13 year old boys with their hands in your pockets. This country is fucked up.
Through quick movements and using Ninja Wannabe as a shield, I beat away the three boys and managed to somehow get my handkerchief back. Stepping out into the hallway, three girls from a different class presented me with my monkey. I guess they took pity on the poor English teacher and got my monkey off the other boys. At least there’s some decency somewhere.
Walking back to the teacher’s room, I randomly turned around to see Ninja Wannabe, crouched low against the wall, approaching me. His cover blown, he ran like the wind. I have a feeling this is going to be a long struggle. What’s worse is that after turning around, CPG appeared out of NO WHERE and goosed me. What the hell is up with these students?
Beyond the continued molestations, I’ve discovered the greatest thing ever to exist anywhere. I found the teacher’s smoking room at Higashi. Now, smoking is expressly forbidden in Japanese schools, but that law as only passed two years ago, so some teachers are unwilling to give up their habit in school. So, the teachers at Higashi rebelled, and use one room as their smoking room. I stumbled upon it, and it truly looks like heaven.
It’s a small room, with a long, low table in the middle. Surrounding the table are six ultra comfortable lounge chairs. Scattered across the table were about eight cigarette packs, two dozen lighters, and three ash trashes. Like I said, heaven. I took a seat, lit up, and basked in the crowning jewel of what just became the greatest country on earth. Eventually one of the teachers came into the room and saw me sitting back, with a huge grin on my face. He promptly began laughing, sat down, and laughed some more. When I told him this is now the happiest day of my life, he starting laughing so hard that he couldn’t even light his cigarette. The vice principal, a really funny guy that, while he speaks almost no English, at least makes the effort, also came in. He then explained the rules of the room in Japanese, and realizing I didn’t understand, instead just said “Top top top top secret.” From what I could gather, no one outside of the school is aware this place exists. Should anyone else find out, their luxury might be shut down, and so there was some fear of me also discovering it. I think I removed their fears though with the assurances of me being silent.
Truly heaven.
posted by S A B at 9:24 PM
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