A War Zone
So, today was my first day at a new school. The trip to this one involves no hills (thank god) and I just bike through a shitton of rice paddies. Thus, travelling to school has gotten significantly easier, and I find myself jumping for joy in that sense.
The teachers here are an improvement from the last school. One speaks fluent English because he grew up in Queens, and seems like a nice guy, though I didn't spend much time talking to him. Another speaks near fluent English, and I have been dubbed his "smoking buddy." He never ceases to be amazed by the comparisons between Japanese and American schools, and constantly has me regale him with stories. Regardless, he amuses the shit out of me.
The third English teacher speaks just fair English. I can never remember her real name, but the students call her "fish." I have no idea why, and quite frankly, I don't want to know why. Anyway, Fish sits next to me. It was decreed by Queens guy that I would do the same powerpoint presentation I did for Higashi for all my first classes at Kita. So, Fish sits down and looks at me. She asks "Will you do your powerpoint for my class tomorrow?" I say that of course I will. Then, she stares at me. I got the feeling that I needed to say something more...
"I'll have everything ready, as well as a worksheet."
"That's good."
More staring. I fumble for something to say and come up empty. She keeps staring. What? What am I supposed to do? What do you want from me woman? Stop staring at me! Eventually, five minutes and a hell of a lot of awkwardness later, she looks away and goes about her business.
Today I only had one class, and I decided to arrive at the classroom a little bit early. Unfortuantely, this was right after lunch, so the entirety of the ichinensei class were lounging around in the hallways outside the classroom I had to get to. I round the corner and see them all standing there. At first, I was elated... they hadn't noticed me yet, and so I felt I could sneak into the classroom real ninja like. I take one step forward and one kid lets out the "Holy shit there's the mysterious Bigfoot" shout and I promptly have about 80 kids staring at me. Then comes to massive chorus of "Hello!" I say hello back, and thinking they seem somewhat docile (they just ate, so maybe they were placated) I begin to move towards my classroom. What happens next is truly the most terrifying experience of my life.
They completely surround me and I'm wading through a sea of 13 year olds, all jabbering at me in Japanese or simply shouting Hello! Suddenly, I feel something grab my ass... "What the..." and I spin around. Then, something grabs my side! I spin around again. Hands keep darting out from all places, trying to get a grab of any part of my body their grubby little fingers can latch onto. Realizing that there were too many to fend off, I protectively position my bag in front of my valuables and charge forward. Unfortunately, the charging was a failure since they did not get out of the way, and so it was a slow trudge through a mass of students, getting groped with each step... it was like walking through the jungles in 'Nam. The bullets were flying from all directions, and you couldn't even retaliate, as they simply faded back into the trees...
I now feel less human...
The teachers here are an improvement from the last school. One speaks fluent English because he grew up in Queens, and seems like a nice guy, though I didn't spend much time talking to him. Another speaks near fluent English, and I have been dubbed his "smoking buddy." He never ceases to be amazed by the comparisons between Japanese and American schools, and constantly has me regale him with stories. Regardless, he amuses the shit out of me.
The third English teacher speaks just fair English. I can never remember her real name, but the students call her "fish." I have no idea why, and quite frankly, I don't want to know why. Anyway, Fish sits next to me. It was decreed by Queens guy that I would do the same powerpoint presentation I did for Higashi for all my first classes at Kita. So, Fish sits down and looks at me. She asks "Will you do your powerpoint for my class tomorrow?" I say that of course I will. Then, she stares at me. I got the feeling that I needed to say something more...
"I'll have everything ready, as well as a worksheet."
"That's good."
More staring. I fumble for something to say and come up empty. She keeps staring. What? What am I supposed to do? What do you want from me woman? Stop staring at me! Eventually, five minutes and a hell of a lot of awkwardness later, she looks away and goes about her business.
Today I only had one class, and I decided to arrive at the classroom a little bit early. Unfortuantely, this was right after lunch, so the entirety of the ichinensei class were lounging around in the hallways outside the classroom I had to get to. I round the corner and see them all standing there. At first, I was elated... they hadn't noticed me yet, and so I felt I could sneak into the classroom real ninja like. I take one step forward and one kid lets out the "Holy shit there's the mysterious Bigfoot" shout and I promptly have about 80 kids staring at me. Then comes to massive chorus of "Hello!" I say hello back, and thinking they seem somewhat docile (they just ate, so maybe they were placated) I begin to move towards my classroom. What happens next is truly the most terrifying experience of my life.
They completely surround me and I'm wading through a sea of 13 year olds, all jabbering at me in Japanese or simply shouting Hello! Suddenly, I feel something grab my ass... "What the..." and I spin around. Then, something grabs my side! I spin around again. Hands keep darting out from all places, trying to get a grab of any part of my body their grubby little fingers can latch onto. Realizing that there were too many to fend off, I protectively position my bag in front of my valuables and charge forward. Unfortunately, the charging was a failure since they did not get out of the way, and so it was a slow trudge through a mass of students, getting groped with each step... it was like walking through the jungles in 'Nam. The bullets were flying from all directions, and you couldn't even retaliate, as they simply faded back into the trees...
I now feel less human...
posted by S A B at 2:36 AM
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